How To Embarrass Yourself Playing Fantasy Football

January 31st, 2012 Posted in Uncategorized
Comments Off

I started playing fantasy football when I was 16 years old. I got into it when a few friends asked me to join a league they were starting. Before that season, I had never heard of fantasy football. Keep in mind that this was back in the mid 1990′s, long before the game had gained a level of popularity that bridges all age, gender, and racial gaps. There weren’t 10 different fantasy football magazines to choose from in every grocery store, drug store, and book store in America like there is today. Before my very first draft, nobody told me anything about strategy. all I had to go by was a list of last years players, and the fantasy points they scored. So, looking over that list, one thing jumped out at me immediately. Morton Anderson scored the most fantasy points out of any other player in the NFL the previous season. (It is actually painful to write this story down. It is vividly bringing back the humiliation I am about to share with you)

I don’t remember exactly what position I was drafting, but i think it may have been 3rd. I remember the joy and shock when the first two picks went by, and Morton Anderson(along with every other kicker) remained on the board. I distinctly remember a feeling of smug satisfaction washing over me, as I internally gloated about being the smartest person in the room. How could these morons be taking running backs, when the kickers score so many more points? I thought as i laughed to myself. Of course it never occurred to me how interchangeable kickers are, as opposed to the unique value that comes with a top five running back or wide receiver. So, when it is finally my turn to draft I proudly announce, I take Morton Anderson As soon as I spoke, there was maybe a second or two of total silence while the words permeated the room. then, all at once, as if someone flipped a switch on a laugh track machine, the room erupted. I immediately realized that I had just made a complete ass of myself.

As the laughter began to subside, the guy running the draft asked, Are you serious?

I responded, Of course not, I’ll take.

Now here is the key. If you are going to pull off the I was just joking when I said I wanted Morton Anderson ploy, then you have to be ready with a legitimate name to replace him with. I have to admit, I don’t remember exactly who I said, but I do remember that it got quite a few laughs as well. I am pretty sure it was someone who would have been around in the 5th round or so. Basically, I threw out the first NFL players name that popped into my head, and it wasn’t great. at least I didn’t say, bill Cowher.

Another great way to embarrass yourself during a fantasy football season, is to completely over think a simple decision. During the 2001 Season, my starting running backs were Marshall Faulk, and Stephen Davis. Marshall Faulk was a beast that year. he ended the season with 2,147 all purpose yards, and 21 touchdowns. Stephen Davis ate up the yards, but he had problems finding the end zone. he finished with 1,637 all purpose yards, and only 5 touchdowns. Going into week 15, the first round of the 2001 fantasy playoffs, I had what should have been an easy start at running back. I was however concerned about Stephen Davis. he was more than capable of putting up big numbers, but a mediocre performance was also not out of the question. Going into week 15 he was held under 80 yards five times, and on two of those occasions he was held under 40 yards. Considering that almost the entire season had already played out, there weren’t any legitimate #1 running backs available on the waiver wire. However, there was one little golden nugget sitting out there that I couldn’t resist. can anyone tell me who Trung Canidate is? Trung Canidate was Marshall Faulk’s main backup in St. Louis at the time. If you remember, this was back in the days of the Greatest Show on Turf. the St. Louis Rams were putting up huge offensive numbers almost every week, and a lot of times, Faulk was being sat at halftime to protect him from injury because the game was already a blowout.

In week 15 the St. Louis Rams were up against the pathetic Carolina Panthers. the 2001 Carolina Panthers finished a with a woeful 1-15 record. that fact alone would not lead me to do something as insanely stupid as benching Stephen Davis in place of Trung Canidate. here is what would lead me to do something that stupid. in week 9 of the 2001 NFL season, the St. Louis Rams beat the Carolina Panthers 48-14. Marshall Faulk had 197 all purpose yards and 2 touchdowns. now for the work, Trung Canidate had an astounding 146 all purpose yards and 1 touchdown. So coming into Week 15, the Rams are 11-2 and basically have the division on lock down. It’s only reasonable to assume that Faulk will put up huge first half numbers, and Trung Canidate will get the bulk of the workload in a game that can pretty much be added to the win column before it even starts. Well, I was half right. Marshall Faulk’s final line was a mind blowing 252 all purpose yards and 2 touchdowns. Unfortunately the game ended up closer than anyone expected. Trung Canidates final numbers were zero all purpose yards on zero attempts, with zero touchdowns. what made this even more embarrassing was that Stephen Davis put up 66 all purpose yards and a touchdown. in case you are wondering, I ended up losing my first round playoff game that day by 3 points. So, making that bold coaching move single handedly ended my fantasy season that year. and 10 years later, I still remember it vividly.

How To Embarrass Yourself Playing Fantasy Football

,
Read More

Allen West Tells Communists Barack Obama, Harry Reid, Nancy Pelosi, And Debbie Wasserman Schultz To “Get The Hell Out Of The United States Of America” – With Video at Pat Dollard

January 31st, 2012 Posted in Uncategorized
Comments Off

Tweet

(H/P Politics)-Rep. Allen West (R-Fla.) had a strong message Saturday for President Barack Obama, Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid, House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi and Democratic National Committee Chairwoman Debbie Wasserman Schultz: “Get the hell out.”

Speaking to a Lincoln Day Dinner in West Palm Beach for the Palm Beach County GOP, Rep. Allen West (R-Fla) fired off a humdinger of a line that within minutes drew recriminations from Democrats on Twitter.

“We need to let President Obama, Harry Reid, Nancy Pelosi, (audience boos) and my dear friend the chairman of the Democrat National Committee, we need to let them know that Florida ain’t on the table,” West said. “Take your message of equality of achievement, take your message of economic dependency, take your message of enslaving the entrepreneurial will and spirit of the American people somewhere else. you can take it to Europe, you can take it to the bottom of the sea, you can take it to the North Pole, but get the hell out of the United States of America.”

Following cheers, West added, “Yeah I said ‘hell.’”

Moments after the quote was mentioned on Twitter, former Reid spokesman Jim Manley responded via his own Twitter feed: “Me to allen west. you first asshole.”

Allen West Tells Communists Barack Obama, Harry Reid, Nancy Pelosi, And Debbie Wasserman Schultz To “Get The Hell Out Of The United States Of America” – With Video at Pat Dollard

, , , , ,
Read More

Obama uses tax proposals for his political message

January 31st, 2012 Posted in Uncategorized
Comments Off

New York Sen. Charles Schumer, part of the Senate Democratic leadership, said he was relishing a push on “some kind of Romney rule, I mean Buffett rule.” Obama has embraced a Buffett rule, named for billionaire Warren Buffett, who has cited the inequity of laws that let him pay a lower tax rate than his secretary.

On Monday, Sen. Sheldon Whitehouse, D-R.I., said he would introduce legislation this week requiring anyone earning over $1 million to pay at least 30 percent of their income in federal income taxes. it would do so by requiring people earning over $1 million to multiply their income by 30 percent and pay at least that amount in taxes, or more if their computations showed their tax liability was greater. He said he has two Senate co-sponsors so far but none in the House.

Such proposals, along with any efforts to deny tax breaks to U.S. companies that outsource jobs and profits, would never get the 60 votes they would need to prevail in the Senate this year, let alone win approval from the GOP-run House.

“If the president has proposals that will help create jobs, we’ll take a look,” said Michael Steel, spokesman for House Speaker John Boehner, R-Ohio. “But tax hikes on small businesses will make it even harder for them to invest and grow.”

Republicans say boosting taxes on millionaires would hurt many of the people who run small businesses and create jobs, a claim Democrats call exaggerated. the GOP and business groups also marshal their own fairness argument, calling it unjust and impractical to raise taxes on companies that set up operations overseas.

“They locate their facilities to be close to the customer,” said Dorothy Coleman, vice president for tax policy for the National Association of Manufacturers. “That’s a big concern for us, targeting multinational companies as if there is something wrong with doing business overseas.”

Democrats challenge that argument as well, saying many pharmaceutical and high technology companies that set up shop abroad are drawn by lower labor costs and taxes and still sell the bulk of their products in the U.S.

Those disputes underscore a political climate so difficult that neither the House nor Senate seem likely to even try advancing pre-election legislation that each party calls their top tax priority: overhauling and simplifying the tax code.

Even so, Obama’s tax proposals can also be read as an opening gambit in what looms as a titanic partisan struggle to be waged after the November elections, perhaps in a lame duck session of Congress in December.

Next January, broad tax cuts will expire that were enacted under President George W. Bush in 2001 and 2003 and were temporarily renewed by Obama and Congress in 2010. At the same time, $1.2 trillion in automatic spending cuts will kick in unless lawmakers vote otherwise.

Congress will also need to renew the government’s authority to borrow money. and action will be needed on a package of expiring smaller tax cuts, mostly for businesses, and on preventing the alternative minimum tax, originally aimed at the wealthy, from trapping middle- and upper-middle-income families as well.

© Copyright 2012 associated Press. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten, or redistributed.

Obama uses tax proposals for his political message

, , , ,
Read More

Chuck Vs. Bo Review: J’accuse! ‘Maybe Babies’ on the Brain

January 31st, 2012 Posted in Uncategorized
Comments Off

Joshua Gomez will always be able to say he made out with Bo Derek. NBC can’t take that away from him.

Accepting the Challenge

Sarah with the intersect made me think of two things: 1.) Okay, so now everyone on the show is getting a chance with this thing? Like a fire sale on the intersect? 2.) Sarah is awesome-er with the intersect.

Seeing other people with the intersect is fun, it’s a fun little tool that the show tried to keep as just Chuck’s up until recently. Now that they feel free to play around, the intersect is bouncing around to just about everyone. at this point you might expect to see everyone urging Casey to just try it, via peer pressure. “everyone else has!” and he’d reluctantly try it out, and shoot a whole bunch of things and love it.

But for now, it’s just Sarah Walker. (Casey calls her Walker, so I guess she didn’t change her last name.) and she had no choice but to accept the fate of the sunglasses. It was try on the fashion accessory, or die! the issue with giving someone like super spy Sarah the intersect is that we’ve already seen her do so many amazing things, that it’s hard to think of what they could show us that would look believable without looking like she was flying around like a vampire. but they actually made it work. She was her, only better. and now she has to save Chuck and get the intersect removed before it kills her brainz! (I’m sure there will be some hiccup with getting it removed.)

Jeffster on the Road

Two of the things we’ve always loved best about the Buy more have been Jeff and Lester. but what about when they’re not in the Buy more? I can’t say that I adored their storyline, but I did enjoy it a lil bit. a smidge. I mean, major bonus points for that dreadlock ski cap. I’d forgotten those existed. but it helps to remind me about the variety of people in America.

In true fashion to Chuck season 5, every episode presents storylines that could gladly have taken us through half a season, but have to be tied up rapidly. for instance, Jeff and Lester finding out about the gang being spies could have been a much longer arc than just two episodes. It seems like the show just really wanted to play that story out before the end. often you can fault a show for a rush job, but here, as a fan I can only be glad for that taste. (And of course, ditto on Morgan having the intersect – that could have played out a lot longer, and would have been fun. but at least we did get another look at it via flashbacks in “Chuck Versus Bo.”)

The Perfect 10

I may have had to google info about Bo Derek to really know much about her past that one iconic image of her, but she was definitely a fun guest star. When you have a show that people love, they want to be a part of it no matter what. (Such was the case with cameos from Eddie Vedder and Edward James Olmos of Battlestar Gallactica on Portlandia this week.) I do want to point out that Bo Derek was once on 7th Heaven… but, okay, over it. It was super fun seeing Sarah mock Chuck about his “girlfriend” and be a little jealous, and it was fun to see Chuck and Morgan be tongue-tied around the legend.

Can the Sexism

Not to get all ranty, but this episode seemed to trash females. I could take Bo Derek calling Jaclyn Smith a whore, but when Lester called Sarah “that whorey blonde” I was so shocked I was certain I’d heard the line wrong. but I didn’t. and that is not okay. Not even a little bit. I had a knee-jerk reaction of suddenly hating Lester. and I don’t want to hate Lester! but I also don’t want him calling Sarah a whore! Conflict. Pathos. Grr.

The rest of the episode was pricking me sense of feminism when it had Big Mike talking about Morgan’s Mom going to a “feelings retreat about her period,” and the entire rainbows thing. I guess it was kind of a Chuck show cute way of talking about sexual stuff without coming across too crass, but it was played up on so much that I got a little annoyed about it. Contrary to what Katy Perry would have you believe, even if a female grew up loving on Lisa Frank stickers, she does not go around talking about rainbows all the time.

(And Lauren Heimbaugh of Cinema Blend wrote an excellent Chuck review where she also questioned many of these things. Check it out. and Heimbaugh, find me on Twitter – @ThisJessicaRae!)

MISC

- When Sarah hears a noise at the beginning of the episode, why doesn’t she wake her spy husband? Does she still think he can’t handle himself?- why did the bad guys say “he’ll be needed” about Chuck?- What will the intersect do to Sarah’s brain?- Will Morgan propose to Alex? (I just have a feeling…IN MY PANTS. No. What? in my BRAIN.)- Will Sarah get pregnant for real? “maybe Babies” is a cute phrase. I am a bit worried that Sarah has only focused on names starting with L, however. REMEMBER? Yea, you remember.- Will the show talk about how Chuck got the intersect when he was very young and it’s a whole backstory thing?! (Hi, we’re running out of time!)- a shoutout to Bryce Larkin! (Matt Bomer)- and a shoutout to Subway! Turkey BLT, what what.- “J’accuse! You people are spies!” – Jeff (“J’accuse” is hard to type, but so easy to say – I say it all the time just to see if people are hiding stuff from me.)- “Chief Googler” is Casey’s future position, if Sarah can successfully bribe him with Ronald Reagan stuff.Chuck airs on NBC and stars Zachary Levi, Yvonne Strahovski, Adam Baldwin, Joshua Gomez, MeKenna Melvin, Vik Sahay, Scott Krinsky, Sarah Lancaster, Ryan McPartlin.

Subscribe to Small Screen Scoop updates on Facebook, Twitter, RSS, or Email

Chuck Vs. Bo Review: J’accuse! ‘Maybe Babies’ on the Brain

, ,
Read More

xiaoyan – An able business allotment is vogue sunglasses just simple

January 31st, 2012 Posted in Uncategorized
Comments Off

An able business allotment is vogue sunglasses just simple and simple. The best allotment of it is that humans can advance it on the Internet. Utilizing the Internet can action capability and alert account for the allotment of a business. They no best accept to go to a bounded account centermost just to yield advantage of its services. They can get the best abetment through the Internet. Allotment is just easy. All humans charge to do is to accumulate up all the requirements needed.

After that, they will be evaluated quickly. They can get after-effects in no time. Surely, there are abounding wonders that the best allotment of business can offer. however, afore advancing up with a aggregation name, humans accept to accede alive added companies. Registering for a aggregation name that already exists will alone accomplish way for them to abort in their registration. Also, they accept to apperceive that application appropriate words in the aggregation name they wish may charge for the government’s decision.

It is a have to to abide a aggregation annals in adjustment to advice a aggregation to curl even more. All they charge to do is to seek advice from the best account that can advice them get amazing results. it will accomplish companies’ affairs easier in starting a venture. it can action advanced ambit of  brands sunglasses casework added than registration. All humans charge to do is to yield advantage of alive the best account that can action the best for them.

Alright, so I’m exaggerating more than a little, but there is a branch of forensics that deals with accounting instead of dead bodies and other unpleasant things that most of us want nothing to do with. Forensic accounting deals more with fraud, banking errors, and other accounting errors and thefts that cost your company money.

Forensic accountants perform a number of functions, but the most basic of these is helping your company to locate money that’s not where it’s supposed to be – in your accounts. There is, of course, more to it than that. in some cases the loss of money is innocent – a misplaced comma or decimal point that was never caught but had a significant impact on your company’s accounts. Sometimes the loss isn’t so innocent.

Embezzlement, fraud, investment scams, and plain old theft can all cost your company huge sums of money and can be increasingly difficult to identify in this increasingly digital world that allows for money to be taken without ever handling a bill or even being at work thanks to remove celebrity sunglasses work stations. That’s where an experienced forensic accountant becomes crucial to helping you get your company’s money back as they can find out who took the money and how the money was taken.

xiaoyan – An able business allotment is vogue sunglasses just simple

,
Read More
Older Entries

Meta